I'm Ashley and if you knew my last name you'd probably make an obnoxious mustard joke, so I'll save you the embarrassment. I come from a cray cray suburb in Tejas, but I'm now spending most of the year living it up in D.C. I enjoy making metaphorical love to my platonic soul mates, passing for a lesbian, drinking chai tea in coffee shops, writing esoteric poetry, being a gay rights activist and laughing at my own jokes. Also, Fitzgerald is the love of my life. Oh, and just so you know, if you have facial hair I require that you shave before reading my blog because I have a slight case of pogonphobia. Grassy ass.

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